This time in life—we have been under quarantine.  Isolation with the family (husband, children, the dog, etc.).  Everything is happening at home.  School, work, fun, play.  And it feels like these are all happening at the same time.  Whew!  My work, my husband’s.  The children have school and play, sometimes more play than school.  Fifth grade math is whoa! Who knew?

The end is in sight-or is it?  School may be wrapping up for the year, but then what?  There is still work, fun, play, summer schedule only at home.  Coming out of COVID-19, how will that look?  The new normal is bantered about, but what will that be?  How soon will we be able to return to all of the normal activities without a mask?

The busyness of managing all the activities, my family members, and the craziness of life have had me waking up in a cold sweat—or just lying there in a cold sweat, because who can sleep?.  The safety zone I may have had, that has been overrun with everyone else claiming it. (I thought this would be a good time to finally remodel my bathroom—the commute time to work is gone, why not?—only to find the bathroom torn up and contractor days aren’t days but weeks!)

Okay.  I’ve got this.  Then the world itself upends with an earthquake and aftershocks, maybe a tornado or two.  Fires anyone? 

Then cooking dinner with my husband in the kitchen (which I have done 1,000s of times), I burned fingers on both hands!  Ow (for hours)! What?

Among all this inconsistency and upheaval, I have had to fall back (or remember) on some basics that help me. Taking time for myself (even though that means finding a new safety zone) and nourishing my relationships.

Some things that I have found to be working for me.

Me time (also known as time out for mom)

Take time for myself.  I am important.  For me, this means I need to wake up an hour before my children to put my thoughts and plans together for the day. (My mom was right.)

My relationship with my husband

Take time for intimacy with my husband.  Send flirty text messages (a kiss, a wink, share a favorite photo or memory)—even if I am in the same room.  Increasing how much I touch him throughout the day, a little tap, a little hug, a peck on the cheek. I take a few moments each morning and evening where it is just him and me.  (This even happens sometimes in a crowded room, but it is just him and me.)

We are keeping to our regular sex schedule. (Even when I burned my fingers on both hands trying to fix dinner—it was on.)  Not only is this fun and satisfying, it is a great stress reducer—everyone wins.

My children

Set time aside for each child (this could happen multiple times throughout the day).  I snuggle with them in the mornings—separately—before breakfast and piano.  I talk with them about their schoolwork and requirements for the day.  I celebrate when they accomplish each requirement.  I hear and talk about summer plans with them.  I remember to look them in the eye and say “I love you”.          

Taking this time with myself, my spouse, and my children, each day, keeps my world thriving.  I am able to enjoy the little moments. The earthquake and burnt fingers become part of my life—but not everything.  My “everything” stays consistent myself, my spouse, and my children.

What have you found that has been working for you?  

Let’s talk about it!