Being Part of the Change for Good!
I’ve been thinking a lot about the protesting and the lives impacted by the choices of others. I’ve heard that as a white person I need to be anti-racism along with not saying “I don’t see color”.
This particular phrase always strikes a chord with me. It’s not that I don’t see color. I personally feel that I don’t allow the color I see to decide how I treat someone. To me, color is a physical characteristic. Like brown or blue eyes, short or tall, bald or hairy. When I look at someone, I see a person with a story. I love stories and love learning about other people’s lives.
When I think about why color doesn’t matter to me. There are a few life experiences that come to mind. Let me share.
To begin, I come from a family of 10 children. I’m the seventh child. I have 6 brothers and 3 sisters. My parents celebrated almost 60 years of marriage before my mom passed away. My youngest sister, also the youngest in the family and 8 years younger than me, was born with Down’s Syndrome. Before she even came home from the hospital and I had met her, some kids at school had already made comments about her and said she was retarded. This word was most commonly used when I was growing up for people with impaired mental abilities. To this day, I struggle with that word when it is used to describe someone.
When I talked with my mom about what I had heard (she was struggling herself with the responsibilities of a child with Down’s Syndrome and how she was going to give her a good life) she said, “treat her like your other brothers and sisters”. Meaning don’t treat her any differently than you would a person without a disability. This stuck! Everyone is treated the same way, regardless!
Another life experience, my best friend growing up came from a very large family (24 kids). Five of those children were birth children. The rest were adopted. There were black children, white children, Asian children, Mexican children and children of mixed races. I spent a lot of time at my friend’s house. Every visit was so interesting because there were so many unique people with different life experiences coming together as a family. It wasn’t all roses but I learned so much. My friend’s parents expected hard work and cleanliness from all their children. Every child had a job that they did everyday at home. My friend’s job was folding laundry and putting it on each bed. Because of the size of the family they had two washers and dryers.
My friend and I had made plans to go out one night. I called her to see if she was ready. She said she could go once she had finished her job. I went over to her house to wait. I got there and the laundry pile was 4ft high and 3ft wide. I thought we were never going to get out of there. I helped her finish and we were on our way. I remember her telling me one time that she was glad that she didn’t have to do the dishes. Amen!
As I mentioned before, I come from a large family. Well, my extended family on both sides is pretty big also. My grandparents on both sides each have 50 grandchildren, I am one. That’s a total of 90 cousins for me! That’s a lot of people with lots of different personalities. My family and my extended family on both sides include people from all different races, much like my friend’s family. I’ve learned that all people regardless of their race are capable of achieving what they can dream and work for.
One last experience I’ll share. In my early 20’s I spent a little over a year in Chile. I had the opportunity to meet lots of different people with different economic means. I was able to be in their homes. I learned about their way of life and the traditions of the Chileans. Something this reinforced, that I learned from my childhood, is that we are all God’s children. He loves us all. We are unique individuals and yet we have many similarities. Each of us have value and bring a unique perspective to the conversation. No two lives are the same. By respecting and honoring the uniqueness of each other, our lives can be happier and fuller.
The responsibility is to the individual to be a positive change for good. As parents we are responsible for teaching our children that each person has value. As co-workers we are responsible for taking a stand against any type of discrimination we observe. As members of society we are responsible for keeping each other safe.
I will not pretend to understand that I know what the challenges are or what it feels like for any other color than what I am. However, I am committed to looking beyond the color to the unique person and take the time to listen and learn from their story. My personal experience is that this makes life more interesting, fuller, and happier.
How can you celebrate the individual?
Let’s talk about it.