This week I’m talking about two of my favorite things—stress and sex.
You may be thinking “Stress is one of her favorite things?” 🧐 Yep, it is.
I think stress gets a bad rap—because we usually think of it in the negative. However, not all stress is bad. There is a positive stress—eustress.
According to Merriam-Webster eustress is defined as “positive form of stress having a beneficial effect on health, motivation, performance, and emotional well-being.” This is what I am talking about.
Eustress challenges us. It gets us excited to move forward and do. It can be a little scary, but it is exciting.
Eustress
Eustress is everywhere. A good example is in dating. The excitement of getting asked out on the date. What am I going to wear? What are the possibilities of this going somewhere? What are we going to do? All of this is engaging—all senses are connected and buzzing with feel good feelings. (Can you feel it?)
Sex and Stress
Now let’s talk about sex and stress—both sides of stress, negative and positive. The physical activity of sex impacts both negative and positive stress. How? Let’s talk about it.
Sex
(Generally speaking, when you are happy with your husband…)
You and your husband are in it. You feel the excitement (much like in dating)—the shivering anticipation. Your mind is thinking of the possibilities. Your body is getting warm, it is getting loose (and yet tense in anticipation). You are connecting with your husband by talking (both verbally and nonverbally).
All of this buildup and anticipation is positive stress—eustress. You are feeling the challenge and the motivation to achieve orgasm (and the possibility is within reach). This is good. This releases endorphins and brings happy brain feelings and a closeness to your husband.
…
You and your husband are now in the aftermath. You are now experiencing the second benefit of sex and stress. This is a reduction in distress—the negative stress. Not to mention you just burned about 68 calories—win/win.
The benefits of sex are worth it. Have it. Even if (and especially if) you aren’t feeling it. As my husband always says, “It’s going to feel good.”
Of interest…
I shared this once in a church class of all places.
About a third of the adult congregation was invited to a marriage and family relationship class. (Married spouses attended together, as well as single individuals.) One Sunday, the teachers—a husband and wife—were in the process of leading the discussion. The wife was struggling to say (without coming right out and saying) that sexual intimacy is important in a marriage. Now me (who had my husband right next to me), being me, raised my hand and said, “Sex is very important. It reduces stress, and you burn about 60 calories.”
The guy in front of me, who was sitting with his wife, turned around to me and said, “I got a lot of stress.”
After the class, a man of my parents’ age, walked over to me and said, “I appreciate your comments in class.”
Later, a woman from the class and neighbor (who has a son my age) said to me, “I told [husband’s name] we are going for the full 60 calorie burn.”
How do you feel after sex? How are you feeling toward your husband? Do you feel a reduction in distress? Let’s talk about it.