When approaching anniversaries of significant events, it is normal to think back on the original event and the times and emotions around it. So, continuing where I left off from last week’s blog. I am approaching my 24th anniversary and have been reflecting on the weeks before my wedding day. There are a couple of things that stand out so clear to me as if they happened just yesterday instead of 24 years ago.
Remember I mentioned in my previous post I may have had a bridezilla moment with my wedding dress. Well, there were actually 2 bridezilla moments. It happened that my wedding dress and the dress for the open house would both create these emotional rollercoasters of not fun for me.
First: The wedding dress
My bridal photos were scheduled to be taken the same day that I was picking up my dress from the dressmaker. I went to pick up the dress (on my way home from work) and couldn’t believe what I saw. I didn’t even try it on. I grabbed it, and the dress that had been made for my mom, and headed home. All the way home, I remember being in my head thinking how ugly this dress was. It was my wedding day, there is a lot of focus on the bride and my dress was nothing like I had imagined it to be (it looked like a white sack!). By the time I got home (it was about a 25-minute drive), I had moved into quite the Bridezilla rage—maybe not quite a rage but it was a good boil.
I brought the dress into the house and my mom could tell something was not right with me. She asked about the dress and I told her it was ugly and there was no way I would be wearing it. She said try it on. I said no! She finally convinced me to try it on. Again, I can’t express enough how UGLY this dress was and I was feeling a lot less then gorgeous in it. Ugh! (By the way the look on my mom’s face said enough once I got the dress on.) Now the tears may have started.
Unfortunately, my aunt happened to knock on the bedroom door when I had the dress on. My mom invited her in. Now my aunt is one of the nicest people in the world. She always has a positive word to share. And a lot of times she is quiet. However, in this moment she probably regretted being positive instead of quiet. She said that I looked nice and the dress was beautiful. My response was very bridezilla- “Don’t lie to me. I look ugly!” (I laugh as I write this- I’ve had 24 years of time to move past this but it was no laughing matter in the moment and I hope my aunt has forgotten.)
My mom probably rolled her eyes at my aunt and gave her the “I’m sorry- my daughter is going over the edge” look.
Mom reassured me that it could be fixed- I lost my eyes into the back of my head on that eye roll. I quickly took the dress off and didn’t talk about it other than to call my friend and tell her there would be no bridal photos that day.
We rescheduled the bridal photo shoot to the latest possible day—the Monday before the wedding. That gave my mom and my older sister 3 weeks to work their magic on the UGLY white sack. They worked hard on the dress. My mom painstakingly unpicked the lace from the ugly dress to try and save it for the new and improved dress. She then painstakingly handstitched the lace to the new dress. It was beautiful beaded lace. They worked to down to the last minute.
That Monday (just days before my Friday wedding), I had the bridal photos. I had worked a 10-hour day with the photo session at 8:00 pm. I drove us to the photographer’s studio while my mom and sister were in the back seat finishing the hemming. We made it and the photos turned out beautifully, with a beautiful dress.
Second: The open house dress
While my mom and sister were sewing my Wedding dress, they were also sewing about 12 other dresses. One of these was the dress I would be wearing at the open house in my fiancé’s home town. It was made out of a beautiful red material and I really liked the look of it. My mom sewed it up. I tried it on. I kid you not- it looked beautiful in the front but the back-ughhhhh! The neck and lower back came together and fit well. The middle of the back didn’t connect by about 4-5 inches. On the heels of the Wedding dress issue, any dress matter was highly sensitive. This brought on bridezilla moment #2. I lost it. I said, “That’s it. I’m going to be naked at my wedding and the open house”. My mom calmly said, “I don’t think that is a good idea. People might not appreciate that”. On a side note: my mom gave the dress to my sister-in-law who fit in it perfectly (and who loves that dress to this day, it still hangs in her closet), of course. I like to think it is because she had just had surgery and had lost some weight. Probably not…
My take-aways from these experiences are:
That women are caretakers and want to help and make things easier and pretty for those around them. Many times, at the expense of sleep, time, and their own wellbeing.
Go with your gut. My mom said later when she met the seamstress that she knew there was no way she was going to be able to make a dress that we would all be pleased with. Trust your gut—most of the time it is right.
Sometimes there are flaws in life. Much like the pattern for the open house dress, life is not perfect and it and us are flawed. We need to be kind, patient, and forgiving toward others and especially ourselves. We are all flawed. But the good news is that we all bring different strengths to the table that overcome those flaws.
I was not naked at my wedding or the open house (I know you were worried). My wedding dress was beautiful and I had shopped and found a dress for the open house. When I look at the bridal photos, I remember how much fun that night was. Me, my mom, 2 sisters and good friend were all crammed in the car wondering if we were going to be on time and if the dress would be ready. We laughed and had a good time. I also remember that underneath that beautiful dress, I was wearing black socks (that I had worn to work) with my white shoes. But, those socks and the stress of the dress experiences don’t show up in the photo. Only the beautiful dress and the excitement of getting married.
What crazy memory do you have from your wedding? How do you feel about it today? Let’s talk about it…..