My brother-in-law was an independent contractor to hospitals for information technology.  He was working with a physician, in a women’s health clinic.  He saw a flyer that said “Kimberlie Rew, Sexuality Coach” on it.  (One of my flyers.)  He said to the physician, “Rew, that’s my wife’s maiden name.  That’s not a very common name.”  The doctor replied, “She’s the greatest sex coach in the state [Utah].”

I have been coaching women (and men) on interpersonal relationships and healthy sexuality for many years.  This journey began early in my life.  I had some experiences in my youth that created confusion around healthy relationships and sexuality.  Through my adolescence, I tried to make sense and eliminate my confusion.

In my early twenties, my women friends started to get married.  While attending their bridal showers, the discussions inevitably turned to the “wedding night”.  I learned from these conversations that my friends and associates were just as clueless as I was.

I was attending University at this time.  I began studying health.  I learned about a class “Human Sexuality”.  (Everyone should take this course.)  I decided to enroll, hoping that I could get some answers on healthy behaviors regarding sex.  This was an eye opener for me (and my Mom)!  (More than I had planned, and better than I could have imagined.) 

My Mom and Dad were working out of the country and I was sleeping in their room while they were away.  Also living in the house, were my brother’s elementary age children and my grandparents.  So, I would keep my Human Sexuality textbook (yes, it was a hard copy) under the bed in my room to protect young (and old) eyes. 

My Mom was home for a visit and she shared her room (or my room) with me.  When I got home from school one day, she said to me, “Kimberlie, you need to drop that class”.  (My Mom only called me “Kimberlie” when I was in trouble or things were serious!)  Apparently, she had discovered the book and read through some of it.

(It is probably important to let you know; my Mom is from a small farming town in Idaho.  We rarely talked about this stuff, and what was discussed was very basic.)  Unbeknownst to her, this very topic, would become my lifelong passion.

I learned about relationships and healthy human sexuality.  That course was the beginning of my studies.  Once I learned for myself, I sought ways to help others learn.  This is my passion.  I don’t want anyone to be “crying in the bathroom on their wedding night” or say “it—[sex]—is just not worth it”.  Sex is worth it.  Sex is one of the most important ways that a husband and wife can grow in their marriage.  I believe strongly that people need to know this truth. I seek to help people, through coaching, understand what is important for themselves and make goals and work on them to achieve healthy sexual relationships.

I was at a niece’s religious wedding. After the ceremony—just outside the sanctuary—her Dad (my brother) was introducing me to his friend.  “This is my sister Kimberlie.  She is a sex coach.  All I can think of is her standing over a couple with a clipboard and a whistle.” 

By the way, that is not what I do.  Yes, I am a coach.  Yes, I have a clipboard.  No whistle.  My office time with a couple—usually individuals—is conducted much like in a therapist’s office.  Everyone keeps their clothes on.  There is no touching. There are chairs and boxes of tissues.  We discuss the goals and they go home and practice, then they return and we debrief and repeat.

I have been successful as a Sexuality Coach because of my “super power”.  My “super power” is my willingness to talk about anything and pretty much anywhere—including Church.  This, of course, is done in a healthy, respectful, clear, and appropriate way.  My openness creates an environment where people feel comfortable enough to share their fears and concerns—even when they aren’t comfortable with this “taboo” discussion topic. 

As my niece has said the conversation will come around to sex if I am in the room.  My husband and I were visiting another couple.  The husband of the other couple asked me what I do.  I proceeded to tell him.  The next thing I knew, he was asking my husband why we were talking about sex.  My husband’s response, “Well, you asked her what she does”. 

If you and I were in a room having a conversation, what would you bring up?

Let’s talk about it!